Outdoorsy VS girly?

Why does a girl have to choose?

Why can't a girl have it all?!?

Why do you have to sacrifice looking sexy while having drinks apres-ski just because you rode hard that day?

Why not spend the day on the hill looking like this:

and transform yourself into something more like this before hitting the bar?

The reason most girls don't bother, is they are under the assumption that it takes a lot (of work and product) to look beautiful and fresh, especially after a day of skiing. Well, I have discovered the secret. And I'm going to share it with you. The best part: all you need can fit into your jacket pockets (or your climbing bag, a dry box in your kayak, whatever your outdoor poison.)

All you need are four simple things:

1- FACE LOTION

you would be surprised how a simple application of facial lotion can give a refreshed glow to your face.

I use Weleda Almond Moisture Cream (sometimes I use Rose)

If you're concerned with blemishes or redness (I know my cheeks are always very rosy after a day in the snow) you can try a tinted moisturizer.

ORGANIC WEAR (found at Target)

2. CHAPSTICK!!

I know that I can't be outdoors for any length of time without having chapstick with me. Nothing is sexier than smooth lips and you're much more likely to smile and allow your personality to shine through when your lips feel healthy and not chapped!

I have so many brands I cannot point you in a direction. I honestly buy whatever is organic and on sale.

I stick to non-tinted. But for a little extra "umph" you could go with tinted- Burt's Bees has some nice tinted chapsticks.

3. FOLDING COMB(optional)

I rarely actually use one, but when I need one, it's quite nice to have. If you find yourself without a comb it is just as easy to wet your hands slightly in the sink and run your fingers through your hair several times.

4. ESSENTIAL OIL ROLL-ON (optional)

I prefer Khuumba Made "Water Goddess"

(no pictures of the flavor, but all Khumba Made roll-ons are in the same packaging- the Amber is nice too)

Now there is something to be said for planning ahead. If you're planning on having drinks after a day of skiing, wear your brightly colored thermal underwear.

I prefer Capilene 2 zip-necks. Not only does it keep you warm and dry as a while on the hill, but when stripped down to the base layer, you do not appear to be wearing your grandmother's thermals.

Base layers look super sexy paired with a vest. I have a Marmot Power Stretch vest. It's fleece lined so it's practical and it's fitted so it's fashionable.

Top it all off with a bandanna or scarf that matches!

The execution is crucial and luckily, quite simple! When you enter the warm, toasty bar after a long day of skiing, you simply tell your hottie ski-bum boyfriend/date that you would like a PBR (no need to be too fancy) and to please excuse you while you duck into the ladies' room. (sans date this is even easier, just got straight to restroom)...

Step 1: remove crucial items from pockets of your ski jacket and place them on the counter.

Step 2: remove outer wear

step 3: brush hair, WET hair with hands to maximize the removal of ponytail bump.

step 4: rub moisturizer on face, apply chapstick, pinch cheeks just a tad and apply roll on oils if desired

step 5: use whatever accessories you may have on your person (scarf for example) to ad a little something extra to your "outfit"

That's it! You now look fresh and hot!

Balance...

 I grew up dancing. My mother always made fun of me that I had fantastic balance as long as I was dancing, but as soon as I stepped off the dance floor, I fell over.  I have fantastic physical balance.  I can stand on one foot for hours, I can center my body over whichever limb I need to to keep from falling over.  

Emotionally, I am not so balanced.  I am dedicating this summer to finding balance in my life.  I have ups and downs. A lot. Rarely is everything just normal. It's either AWESOME! or ALL HELL IS BREAKING LOOSE. I am looking for things to be on a more even keel.  

I am a super-sensitive person.  I take other's emotions and hardships and internalize them as my own.  I take my own short comings and problems and amplify them to a point where my life is over!  Mom always told me I should be an actress because I am uber dramatic! It's not that I try to be overly dramatic... I just really think that things are that bad. I have taken up meditation and it really seems to be helping. I just need to get in the habit of meditating even when (and especially when) everything is fine.  It's like preventative medicine. You have to do it even when you don't think you need it.  It builds up in your (emotional) system and helps to BALANCE you all the time.  If you start out balanced, when things get off kilter, it's a lot easier to fix.  Mental Maintenance, if you will. 

SO, my self-improvement project for the summer is to get my life in a constant state of balance- Zen.  

I'll let you know how it works out. 

Insomnia

Sometimes it sucks to be me... right now is definitely one of those times.

I have to work at 6:30 tomorrow. This is not usually a problem; I like working the morning shifts.  

The problem lies in the fact that it is 12:33 AM and I cannot sleep.

Why? Because I am a thinker.

Being a THINKER has it's ups and downs.  Generally, I enjoy escaping into my own little world and waxing philosophical about life, love the pursuit of happiness.  My head is a haven from the rest of the world.  My overactive imagination is actually one of my favorite qualities about myself. Sometimes, though, it comes and bites me in the ass! 

Thinking leads to more thinking.  One little iota of an idea grows and grows into this entire metropolis of things that could happen or should have happened or did happen.  YIKES!! 

Tonight's train of thought has led me to a list.  A list I think I will share with you.  Here, my dear readers, is a list of things I want in life: (beware of sub-categories)

1- a career

-that has a future

-that has benefits

-that I enjoy doing everyday

-(I tried and tried to come up with examples of actual careers I wanted to have, and I honestly DO NOT KNOW... and this is a terrible feeling). 

2- a significant other 

-who has a career they enjoy

- who wants a future (preferably with me)

-who also wants the same things on this list

3- to Travel 

-and to have the means to do it right

-a significant other to join me would me a huge bonus

-to live in another country for at least three months 

4- to one day own land

-5+ acres

-a veggie garden

-custom-design my home on that land

5- to one day own my own business

-a cafe/bar

-a sustainable and eco-friendly policy

-local and home-grown veggies! 

6- to learn how to be completely self-sufficient

-financially

-emotionally

-environmentally (ie: solar panels and water wheels)

7- to hone my creative side

-write a book

-learn how to solder silver

-become a better photographer 

There are not a lot of things on this list. I feel fairly confident I can accomplish over 75% in my lifetime and at least one in the next two years. (I'll keep you posted)

So now, at 1AM, I am going to hope that my list making has calmed my brain enough so that I might catch 40 winks- or whatever the phrase is.   

My "feminist agenda"

I went out to dinner with Sarah the other night. It was a very nice dinner, we had a beer and split a bison burger at the pub. After dinner, her friend Patrick came to join us.  Now, I do not get along with Pat's roommate Davis very well, because of my so-called "feminist agenda." And apparently I do not get along wit Pat for the same reasons.  Pat started in on the fact that I'm single.  He kept telling me I needed to lighten up, stop being so uptight about dating, just go out with someone.  He basically told me to stop being so "feminist" and "girl-up" my actions so that I "fit" what a "man" was looking for. (Did I mention Pat was 22??)  

If you haven't gathered a few things about me from reading/knowing me, I am these things:

1- a woman

2- a woman who believes in gender equality

3- a woman who does not think that she should "dumb herself down" so that a man is not intimidated. 

4- an independent woman

Now, it has taken A LONG TIME and a LOT of heart break, misery, pain and confusion to come to this conclusion:

I can wait on the perfect person.

I have had to learn how to be alone these past few months and, you know what, it's awesome! I can take care of my own needs and not have to worry about anyone else (except Elu).  If I'm not happy about something, I can fix it. I  am the sole person responsible for my happiness.  

I will not change who I am so that I can be liked, or even loved.  I will sit here patiently and wait until I find that person who likes and eventually loves me for who I am not in spite of who I am.  In the mean time I will be the token single girl at all the parties, I will go home alone (to my dog) and I may be a tad grumpy from time to time, but who isn't!?!? 

Now, on to some other points I would like to make on my "feminist agenda"

1- I think it is HORRIBLE to hear men call other men "bitch" or "vagina" when inferring the other man is a wimp. By calling a man a vagina as an insult, they are implying that women are lesser, weaker, worthy of insult.  I will call a man on this EVERY TIME!

2- Men are not "in charge" of "their women." In fact I do not like the idea that when dating someone, you become "their woman." Women are NOT PROPERTY. 

3- When men say they are intimidated by certain women (like myself) it is either a- a bull shit excuse for not making a move or b- a red flag saying that he wants someone he can control and would rather not have to deal with the challenge of "taming the shrew"

Okay, I'll get off my soap box now.  I just wanted to share some things that have been grating at my nerves. I feel better now, thanks for listening!!! 

By the way: dictionary.com says

fem⋅i⋅nism

  [fem-uh-niz-uhm]–noun

1.	the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.

2.	(sometimes initial capital letter) an organized movement for the attainment of such rights for women.

3.	feminine character. Doesn't sound like a bad thing to me, does it to you?

Hey Guys!!!

 

I have had some serious blogger's block! I have several unposted "drafts" on my posting list.  All existential l crap.  I've been "woe is me," and "what am I doing with my life?" and stuff.  The Blogs may or may not get posted... we'll see if I can muddle through the stream of consciousness mumbo jumbo and make something meaningful and interesting.  

ANY WHO!  Here's some goings on...

I got my hair cut.  I have been thinking about it for a while now and FINALLY decided that identity crisis number one is SOLVED... for now. 

Just for shits and giggles, let's explore a couple of years of Hair Do's.

 there's the long and straight circa December 2005

there's the really long and straight December 2008

the brief "hippie" stint of last summer/fall....

then back to the long and straight.... 

:::I would like to comment on the fact 3 out of 4 pictures I am drinking- I do not really drink that much it just so happens that the only time I am ever on the receiving end of a picture is when my friends are drunk. The rest are all self portraits; most are less than flattering.  I only post pictures of myself where I look good.  I am vain like that. I do not want the public to see me with four to eight chins... which happens. so. in conclusion, don't judge me. Thank you::::

AND, now ladies and gentlemen, without further ado....  I give you the new and improved Patricia Ann Ireland. 

It's funny how I move to the biggest bum town in the country (where, by the way, women apparently find it acceptable to go the the bar in sweatpants) and discover that I am, in fact, a girly girl. 

GASP!!!!!!!!!! I totally hear ya.  I NEVER thought it would happen either. Part of me is ashamed that I have become the girl I used to make fun of. BUT, I have discovered, that I am a lot happier when I look pretty.  It's not a vanity thing (well maybe a little), but when I get all dressed up and made up, I feel better. I'm sure there is a psychology on it somewhere, I'll look it up for you later. Regardless.  I am a bona-fide girly girl. And I'm totally fine with it. I am still me, and I will still get dirty and play in the woods, climb rocks and throw snowballs at people.   However I am making a point when I am not in the woods to look nice. It makes every experience more fun.  I am even putting makeup on before the 6am shifts. Woa!

In other news, my favorite little husky pup is doing well.  She's been running alongside Mommy taking bike rides almost every day.  She has played ball in the park.  We have been on Puppy Rides to see Aunt Lola.  Elu loves Jackson very much, and really doesn't want to leave. She has made neighborhood friends, even snuck out in the middle of the night to be a rebellious teenager with the 'hood.  She's brought friends home. Here's a picture of my little pre-teen in what is likely to be the last year I can dress her like a little girl for Easter.... 

Elu says I love you and I hope you had a Happy Easter!!! 

Well, more to come later... I'll let you absorb these things for a day or two.  Smooches!! 

Moving again...

Okay, so I know I sound like a crazy, antsy girl> but I'm moving again.

NO, I'm not coming back home.  I'm staying in Jackson.  Only moving to Wilson.  The "cool side" of the Hole.  The country. By the end of the week (God willing) I will have the lease on a log cabin.  My friend and coworker, Sarah found this place and we went and saw it today.  It's precious. A little run down, but with character! It was built in the 1930's as part of the first family homestead in Wilson.  Our landlords and neighbors live in the big house, next door.  The house that we will be renting was built when the daughter moved out and had babies of her own.  As more babies were born, another room was added on.  It's three bedrooms and one bath. There's a mud room/gear storage area and two entrances.  The house sits right on Fish Creek, so in the summer we'll be able to tube from our house to "downtown" Wilson in about 15-20 minutes (by river, it's about 1 mile from downtown via roads). 

Anyway, trying not to count any chickens... but this place is sweet! and we just have to give her deposit and sign the lease and it's ours. lalala! Can't wait to live in a house with just ONE other person!! 

A weekend update

LE SIGH!

What an eventful few days I've had. Friday night was the dogsled races, as shown below, which was amazing! After the races, Sarah and I headed to Pica's (a Moe's-like place but a little more upscale) to meet up with some friends of hers from the ski school.  We ate and drank margaritas while discussing the night's plan. We decided on the Stage Coach (aka "the coach") to hear Steam Powered Airplane.  The Coach is out in Wilson, about a 15 minute drive (closer to where I used to live).  So, I agree to be the sober driver.  The Coach is GREAT!!! It's got a Bailey's (We miss you ole girl) to it.  It's a dive bar like the best of the dive bars.  The two pool tables are free to play, and have a slight lean to them.  Drinks are relatively cheap, they serve PBR in a can, and the bathrooms could use attention.  I think I may have to move to Wilson.  The band was great! Sarah's friend Mark was cute, I won three games of pool, and I was back in town at a decent hour.  All-in-all the trip to Wilson was worth it.  I took Sarah home and started to go home myself, but Jeff called, wanting to watch a movie.  I had Elu with me, so I figured why not. By the time I went to sleep it was nearly 4 am.  

Saturday I woke up with all intentions of going to the Village and getting a few runs in, but by the time I got to Lola's it was noon.  We could have made it, but neither Lola or I were feeling it too much.  So I let Elu run around her old stomping ground and chilled on the couch with Lola.  One of her friends came in town later, and we ate some dinner. Home, in bed, early, on a Saturday night~ I'm the most exciting 20-something single you'll ever meet

BUT SUNDAY!! I was up at 7 am, ready to roll! Lola and I ate a fantastic breakfast at Nora's  and headed to the Village.  Watching Lola ski and me snowboard (without any instruction from people who know what they are doing) is HILARIOUS!!!  The first lift up, Lola and I asked them to slow down the lift, but they slowed it down too much and I didn't get enough speed coming off the chair to coast out of the way.  I had to skate (which is just like riding a skate board, only one foot is strapped in to the board but not really at the right angle.  You're having to push one foot on the ground while the other is perpendicular to your body and it's overall not easy- for me at least).  SO anyway. I'm trying to skate off the chair and I fall over. I don't mind falling, it doesn't hurt me. But it sure hurts my pride. After the chair lift debacle, I get out of the way and begin riding down the hill. Lola falls, so I go on ahead, assured that she will catch up to me in no time, as I will fall again.  I side slip down the hole mountain, falling on the regular.  But I made it down! and I was able to control the board the cast majority of the time.  It was fun! We repeated the scenario a couple more times (only I mastered the chair dismount for the rest of the day) and called it a day, it was the Super Bowl.

I went to town, picked up Jeff and got fixings for burgers.  We headed back to Lola's to cook dinner and watch the game.  Upon arrival, we start cooking and turn on the TV.  The satellite is not working. We waited and waited hoping it would correct itself.  Nope. Never worked.  SO as soon as we gobbled down some burgers and french fries, we headed back to town to catch the second half at Jeff's.  The game was pseudo-interesting. Good, close game, but I failed to pick a team prior to the game so I was uninterested in the outcome.  

Game over. Weekend Over. Back to the grind. 

Existential Thoughts for the New Year

I have become an avid blog reader.  It started with my friend Alison's, blog and from there I discovered Lindsey's, and from there Elizabeth's and so on and so on.  Now I've become an outsider peering into the lives of all these women, all my age, all women I've known since we were just girls, leading insanely different lives.  Alison lives in New York, has an amazing career and is pursuing her dreams.  Lindsey still lives in Birmingham, near her family and has created a large loving family of her own.  Elizabeth and her husband live in DC and just had their first child. 

It's strange to me how four women, all raised within a few miles of each other turn out so differently.  With the exception of Alison, all our parents knew each other.  I used to spend the night at all of their houses and talk of the days when we would be adults.  My how my plan for myself is not what I had laid out.  I am not really even sure what I thought was going to become of my life, but I know that never in my wildest dreams did I think I was going to be living in Jackson, Wyoming digging my car out of the snow to go to work in a Tonic Bar! It's funny how life leads you in directions you never expected.  It's funny how even when you're there, you're not sure how you got there, or where you're going next.  I made plans and fantasized about my adult life when I was a child, and now I'm reflecting and waxing nostalgic about being a child- (when will we ever be happy and content with what we have RIGHT NOW ? )

I love reading about my old friends.  I love knowing that their lives are going in directions that make them happy.  I love knowing that I have no idea where mine is taking me. I hope that this new year will take me in directions that are exciting and new, as well as directions that will stretch my mind and help me to grow.  Maybe ten years from now you'll be reading my blogs about my children, maybe you'll be reading my blogs about my travels on my sailboat, maybe you'll be reading blogs about both- who knows! But I can tell you, that whatever you read from me in the future will be an adventure and I will be happy!

Winter-improv-izing

Today was a loooong day!! 6:30 to 9 am I covered part of Sarah's shift before heading to Jack Dennis from 10 to 7. But feet hurt and I'm very sleepy, but for some reason am unable to fall asleep, even though I know that I have to work at 6:30 tomorrow morning as well.  So this evening when I got home, I went to my room to have some alone, quite time making (I can't tell you what, because some of you may be receiving such crafty items in the mail for Christmas).  But upon getting settled into my bed/office/studio to work on said crafty items, I noticed my room is too cold to be in without being under mass amounts of covers.  Don't get me wrong, the large amount of blankets and sleeping bags on my bed sure are cozy when you're asleep, but not so conducive for using two hands.  SO I set out to make my room a little warmer. 

Here is how an outdoors woman can not only insulate her room, but also finally find a spot for all that gear that's not being used again until spring.  

That crash pad that won't get used until spring?? A little duct tape and a spare sleeping bag... 

Simply cover with window dressing...

And voila! you have yourself a padded headboard that doubles as a window insulate!!

Stay tuned for more installments of "Tricia's First (Real) Winter" 

Your name is WHAT???

Things like this annoy me.

Just because you're famous is NO reason to name your kid such things! If any one of us (regular) people were to have grown up with a name like Bronx Mowgli, we would never ever have heard the end of it.  We would have been tormented and teased for our names.  But for some reason famous people think it's important to get your name out there, by using your kid.  I guess it's a pretty good marketing ploy.  I haven't heard a damn thing about Ashlee Simpson in a while, but now that her kid has some ridiculous name, her picture and name is all over Yahoo! news' featured list. But back to the fact at hand: this is a human life we're ruining for your marketing! I understand there are way worse things that could ruin a child's life, like poverty, fear in the home, drugs etc etc, but a name is something that they can never get away from! Names are important.

A name can define you, a name gives you a sense of self and belonging. You can't help but feel a connection (no matter how silly) when you meet someone with your name.   I always like it when I meet another Patricia. Granted, my name isn't all that common  (like Sarah or Elizabeth, where you gals probably meet people all the time with your name), but at least there are people in the world that share it.  I bet Bronx Mowgli will never meet anyone else with that name. With the exception of the cartoon character in the Jungle book.  I hope that when I have children, my husband reminds me that I want to wait until after the drugs and endorphins wear off to name the child. 

Call me old fashioned, call me southern, call me crazy, but I think that when you name a child, a human being, there should be some rules involved. Like family names with a modern twist can be cool; names that have a meaning, yet still have a flow to them are also okay.  Names of cities are generally a little weird... only a few work like Orlando (Bloom), or Marietta, Dallas is fine... I personally think I will name my son Birmingham... maybe Atlanta.  Names after cartoon characters are kinda weird...  Maybe Birmingham Shrek or Atlanta Mulan.  Yep! that's it, I hope I have twins so I don't have to pick between the two!!!

I'm just saying... 

Have we lost the Christmas Spirit???

Well, judging by this, I think we totally have!!!

I mean seriously, since when is a man's life less important than a "super deal" on some toys for your kid????  I can kinda understand how the tragic accident may have happened, but when the store announced its closing due to DEATH by TRAMPLING that you may or may not have been apart of, you should leave and let the man's coworkers deal with his death in peace, NOT, I repeat, NOT complain that you NEED to BUY STUFF and keep shopping! 

I cannot believe the nerve of some people, I mean it's not like it was THE WHO concert of 1977... 

Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?

this made me giggle! 

 

 

Why did the chicken cross the road? 

BARACK OBAMA : The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change ! The chicken wanted change ! 

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road. 

HILLARY CLINTON : When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me. 

GEORGE W. BUSH : We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here. 

DICK CHENEY : Where's my gun? 

COLIN POWELL : Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road. 

BILL CLINTON : I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken? 

AL GORE: I invented the chicken. 

JOHN KERRY : Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it. 

AL SHARPTON : Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens. 

DR.. PHIL : The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems. 

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cr oss this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens. 

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road. 

NANCY GRACE : That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty ! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks. 

PAT BUCHANAN : To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American. 

MARTHA STEWART : No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information. 

DR SEUSS : Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY : To die in the rain, alone. 

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough. 

BARBARA WALTERS : Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road. 

ARISTOTLE : It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. 

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace. 

BILL GATES : I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot. 

ALBERT EINSTEIN : Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken? 

COLONEL SANDERS : Did I miss on

A weekend Update

Totally meant to take my camera and take pictures, sorry for my lack of responsible blogging....

Friday night was "girls" night! and Oh how I love girls' night!!! Sarah, my friend form the Tonic Bar, and I decided to make it a night on the town.  I met her at her house and we walked into town to hit up the Cadillac Grille.  The Caddy is the best spot to start the night because it's pretty chill and reminds me of a 50's diner! Plus they have THE BEST happy hour in town: two for one (anything!!!).  SO we had a couple of cocktails, sent some guys a note across the bar (yes, a la high school) to inform them that we would be going to the Silver Dollar Bar and Grille at the Wort Hotel.  They met us there, because well, wouldn't you if two hot girls sent you a note!  We had some drinks there, danced a touch to the band and then ventured out to 43 North for 80's night! Now, this is THE "dance club" in Jackson.  It's where everyone goes on Friday night, because there are a total of five places to go. 

 There seems to be a locals following.  Every Tuesday, it's the Wort for Bluegrass, Wednesday is Whiskey Wednesday at Cutty's and then Karaoke at the Virginian (Affectionately known as the Virg.) and then Thursday night is Ladies' night at the Tavern, Friday 43 and I have no idea what goes on Saturday night, because I have to work at 6am on Sundays.  (that is in no way saying that I go out every night of the week, but some weeks it may be a Tuesday and some weeks a Wednesday and so forth).  

Anyway, my night was amazing! I had fun, and very little drama occurred, except for the time that some guy bumped into me and I tried to getup in his face, luckily for him, he promptly apologized for causing me to spill my dink, and offered to buy me a new one. Luckily for his pocket, I only spilled a little and it was my last drink anyway, so I thanked him for his graciousness and declined the new drink.  

Saturday was a lazy day: started off with some breakfast with Sarah and her boyfriend at Bubba's (no website to link you to, but trust me it's pretty good!!) followed by some much needed couch snuggling with Elu.  Then Elu and I ventured into town to do a little shopping and walking around the square.  We picked up (way too much) Mexican food and went to watch football over at Jeff's new pad.  He's got quite the set up: two beds, a tv with free cable, all the hot water and heat you could shake a stick at and maid service! Sadly, living in a hotel does not give you the best set up for a kitchen, hence the mass amounts of Mexican food. 

Well, there ya go, a recap on my weekend.  

My Mom and Sister come out this week for Turkey Day, and I will be trying my first ever attempt at cooking a bird, wish me luck!

roommates and jobs...

Been looking for a job.

Been looking for a place to live and someone to live with.

AH!!!!

There's a lot to do!

The job hunt:
Applied several places yesterday and going to keep on trucking, I interviewed at Eddie Bauer yesterday afternoon, and pretty much have the job there if I want it. It pays decently, but i think I could do better if i worked on a resort, just not sure if I'm cut out for that kinda work or not. I'll keep you posted on further developments

On the roommate front:
There's a website here in Jackson, JacksonHoleRadio.com, you can post free ads and respond to them etc. There are TONS of people looking to rent a room or looking to find a roommate and house-hunt together. I've already had several people contact me and respond to my contacting them. I am meeting with a girl names Shane tomorrow morning for coffee to see if we are truly compatible to room together, so I will for sure let you know what's going on with that as well.

On the friend front:
Lola and I went out to the Wort Hotel with my 2nd cousin once removed, or something like that, Barbara and her friend Shelia. The ladies were CRACKING me up with every guy that walks past me, "What about him?" they would ask. There were two girls dancing to the band and it made me REALLY miss my girls back home. I went up to one of them, her name is Sarah and told her that watching her dance made me sad that I left my dancing buddies behind in Alabama, she invited me to dance with them. I had a blast! After i sat back down at the table, Lola wanted to introduce me to her friend Erin. I walk over to the table and shake the girls hand and hear "Hey, that girl's from Alabama!" I turn around and see one of my old college buddies sitting at the table. "Clint!! I heard you were living out here!" I was so happy to see an old buddy! We exchanged numbers and hopefully I'll get up with him in the near future. He also has a friend that is moving out of a house and looking to sublet her room, the only issue is that I would have to live with three guys... so we'll see about that! Sarah also said she had a friend that needs a roommate. Never say that nothing good comes from drinking beer and dancing!

On the current living situation:
FLIES!!!!!!!!!! We have no air conditioning so in order to keep the house cool we have to open the windows and doors... but then flies come in and raid the house. Elu can't sleep, because flies keep landing on her.

On the stock market:
I'm depressed. the country is in Mayhem!!! Gold is up $86 TODAY! and everything else is down. there's some serious trading going on and I'm very fearful for the future of this country. Scared to death!!!

She's only happy when it's raining

Apparently Faye has made her way to Birmingham. It's been raining for the better part of the night.

Lately I've become a bit of a night owl, I mean, I always have been. I prefer to sleep late and stay up late and although I know it's not really all that good for me, I don't really care. I like the night time. The only thing better than night time is night time with a good heavy rain beating down all around you.

As I sit here snuggled on the couch with my love, Elu, I have started to feel extremely nostalgic, if that's the emotion I'm looking for, maybe it's a little of hope mixed in with it. I know that rain can be a damper to several things, things I like to do, like be outside climbing and camping, etc. but much more than the fact that it can ruin certain human plans, it is a cycle of nature; one that we need. Rain is the beginning of new life, we need rain to give nutrients to the soil to help plants grow and plant life is just the beginning of the food chain, you know the rest: animals eat vegetation and so on and so forth, the cycle continues and life is sustained. Rain comes in more forms than just precipitation. Rain can come in your life too.

"Rain" can be a break-up, a change in job, anything where you feel like things are just crashing down around you... but if those things didn't crash down, like a giant tree in the rain forest, there would be no room for new growth in your life. Things have to come to an end in order for new things to start.

Like this move: There are people in my life, here in Birmingham that I am absolutely devastated to leave behind, but in order to fully grow and mature, I have to make room in my life. My life, metaphorically and literally is so very crowded with stuff. My house is crammed full of crap. Stuff that I don't need, stuff that I feel I need to hold onto forever, for no particular reason. Also my life is filled with emotional stuff. This town holds my entire life wrapped up in it's buildings, gutters, streets, residents, and even the smog. I have a memory of almost every major place in this town, everywhere I frequent holds my stories, both good and bad and most people I hang out with know the good bad and the ugly about me. For the most part it's very very comforting to be able to walk into a place that you know like the back of your hand and expect to see at least five people you know, and they know you. To be greeted by your first name when you walk in the door and asked about your day, as if people really care. In that respect, I'm terrified to leave this town. My mother is five blocks away if I ever need her, my best friends are 10 and 20 minutes from my house, and could be here at a moments notice if I needed them. When I move, I'll only know one person, and although she's a wonderful person, what if living out there she's the only person I'll ever make friends with?

Oh the what--ifs, I know I'll be fine, and if I'm not then I can come home, home's not going anywhere. But I know that I need to give myself some room to grow. It's time I venture out on my own, away from my comfort zone and let the proverbial (and hopefully some real) rain drops hit my face.

So I don't like to sing that old kids' song "rain rain go away." instead let's embrace the rain and see what new life pops up with the sun comes out.

Something is Outta Whack in the Universe...

Is everyone doing okay?

I feel like there's been a lot of turmoil in a very short amount of time. It may have something to do with the Solar Eclipse yesterday. While surfing around the net just now, for links to include in this post, I found some more information on this here.

now I just have to get my chart and figure out what this all means! =)



by the way this is my horoscope for the month *from the same site above*:

Pisces—Its you against the world, dear Pisces, as you sing “I’ve Got To Be Me” and everyone else disagrees. Bosses, spouses, children, friends and lovers all want something different from you than what you want to give. Whether you stand firm (unlikely) or put on your chameleon colors to blend into the background, you are likely to feel stressed at this turn of events. Meditate, do yoga, take deep cleansing breaths. This too shall pass.

WOW! kinda scary how my entire month-long horoscope pretty much was my feelings yesterday. SO maybe I'll be good for the rest of the month?

How did everyone else emotionally do with the eclipse?

I'll let you know what becomes of my chart!

PS_ whether or not you believe in this is totally up to you, and I know that there's a lot quack-like things about this pseudoscience, BUT it's interesting and fun to me to play around with and I think that the way the planets line up and pull and the magnetic energy that comes from that could quite possibly have an affect on people. I'm much more prone to believe the research on bio-rhythms. but i understand if you think I'm nuts.

I'm back...

I'm back from the cruise... have lots to tell you, some stuff I'll keep in the family, but I'll give you a hint: the drinking age in Mexico is 18... my little brother and sister are 18 and 19. you do the math...

We had fun, lots and lots of fun!

I really want to tell you all about it, but right now I'm way too overwhelemed with what is not good that I am having trouble remembering all the fun I had.

This is why I hate vacations, when I return, so much has happened while I was gone it seems that irreparable damage has occurred. Let's see where to start:

My car was in the shop, my mother got it fixed, but I still have to deal with that
Bills were not paid before the cruise, so now I have late fees (oops)
My bank account went into the negative while I was gone, so the aforementioned issue is now even worse
My store damn near fell apart, and the WHOLE operating system is different and confusing
I CANNOT seem to actually quit, really? I put in a 4 (FOUR) week notice and I have been asked to stay another 5 days, I really hate being a doormat, and feeling trapped!

AND to top it all off, I'm an emotional mess because I'm still so tired and I over-indulged myself, only to come back and deprive myself (luckily my roommate bought me dinner last night, otherwise I might have starved to death, no lunch today though) and so I'm straight depressed.

SO, when I get the happy back, I'll post pictures and tell you all about my trip

I read somewhere… how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong… but to feel strong.

that's a quote from Alexander Suptertramp (Christopher McCandless) from the book/movie into the Wild.

I think it's quite fitting right now.

I am not going to lie. I'm scared to death about the move- TERRIFIED

What if I don't make friends, what if I can't get a job, what if (worst of all) I fail?!?!

I guess it's a really good thing that I get off on adrenaline... 'cause the more scared I get and the more butterflies that appear in my belly, the more pumped up I get.

Once I remember getting my nose bent out of shape that I was having a really bad day and no one bothered to ask me what was wrong. When I said something to my friend about no one noticing that I might need a shoulder, she commented "I had no idea, you seem totally put together," at that point I broke down crying, "I am NOT put together, I'm a mess!"

"well, you had us all fooled," she responded.

SO, my question is, by hiding my not-so-happy feelings from the world am I being genuine? or am I being strong. If I believe that I am strong, does that make me strong? If I believe that I can do anything, does that mean that I really can?

aside: just got a call about my house, so maybe the universe is on my side...

back to existential thought:

Can I do this? I really think I can! I really think that I am strong enough to do this: to leave my "comfort zone" and venture out on my own, scary as it may be to be far away from the people that have always been there to back me up (i know they still will be, just not physically there) I KNOW in my heart, that I'm going to be okay. And when I return to Birmingham one day, I will be able to stand on my own two feet and be my own person.

I feel strong, so I must actually be strong...

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. - Mahatma Gandhi

I have hit a wall. Emotionally.



I have lost it.


I need to find it again.






This move to Jackson could not come at a better time in my life. Soul searching is a necessity. I'm hoping that a week spent with my family far away from all the drama in Birmingham will help kick-start some me time.




self reflection time.




I want to learn how to meditate. I think that it would be a very good thing for me to do. In the book Eat Pray Love, Elizabeth Gilbert talks about her journey to finding herself. She went across the world, I'm going across the country. She spent three months in Italy concentrating on pleasure, self indulgence, doing what she wanted when she wanted... I've pretty much been doing that for the past three months here in Birmingham (although I think she may have more self control than I). Then she spent three months in India focusing on internal peace and religion. She stays at an Ashram and spends her days devoting her life to a higher power.







This is the next step in my journey. I need to find something that I can really believe in and get behind. I'm having trouble doing that with the church. I am not entirely interested in organized, political religion. I just want to find God again. So, here's my wall. I have all these toxic emotions running through my soul. My energy is bad. I need a cleansing and a new beginning. I would love to find a Guru.



Okay, so just to round out the explanation of the book: after three months devoting her life to another, higher power, Elizabeth goes to Indonesia to try and find a balance between the two: pleasure and devotion.



but I still need to get through step 2 first. Back to basics:





I'm having a garage sale: cleansing myself of all that is the past. I'm getting rid of all of it. (well, most all of it, things that I don't want to get rid of are going in storage) But downsizing into a car, will really help me come to terms with the fact that I don't NEED ALL THIS STUFF.



I don't NEED to have all the latest toys. I don't NEED things.




I have a shopping compulsion. I like to spend money that I don't have on things I don't need. Living out of my car and living on the cheap is going to be a HUGE challenge for me, and I think (I really really hope) it will ground me some.



Second, I'm hoping that the nature tour 08 will help me rediscover God. This country is going to shit. but when you get away from all the politics, the TV, the computer (yeah right, I'll still be blogging when I can) and the cell phones and the over-all plugged-in-ness that bombards us everyday, hopefully there will be room for God again.




my minimalist portion of the journey will only last a month, not all of us have the luxury of hiding in India to reach enlightenment, but then when I arrive in Wyoming, I will have cleansed and lived. Maybe I will be able to find balance.





Here's hoping...

the only room with a ceiling fan has no TV in it...

I always do these on myspace, but I am feeling kinda sassy tonight and though I would do a survey on the 'ol blogspot, so enjoy.

What's a fact about the last person who texted you?
her bday is june 20th!


What is your favorite thing to eat?
bad for me food. but I greatly enjoy good food too, I just am too lazy to cook it lately

What do you currently hear right now?
nothing, Pandora's not done loading... wait a second let me fix that... hang on... ok fixed now I'm listening to THe night they drove ole dixie down as sung by the Black Crowes

What do you think your number 1 is doing right now? (this is a myspace question)
Since 1991, the Access Fund has been the only national advocacy organization that keeps climbing areas open and conserves the climbing environment. The Access Fund supports and represents over 1.6 million climbers nationwide in ALL forms of climbing; Rock Climbing, Ice Climbing, Mountaineering, and Bouldering. Five core programs support the mission on national and local levels: public policy, stewardship & conservation (including grants), grassroots activism, climber education, and land acquisition. To find out how you can help please go to: http://accessfund.org/ You can find info about the many ways you can keep climbing alive in the United States.

*as taken from their about me section on myspace... check em out http://www.myspace.com/accessfundclimbing

What’s your favorite thing to have on your bed?
I love to wrap up under my down comforter and sleep with the fan and a/c on but I can't do that tonight, becuase I have no A/C

What's the last thing you ate?
green beans, homemade tomatoe soup and alfredo pasta. then a popsicle. 'cause it's HOT

Can you sleep in jeans?
not tonight. I have passed out in them before, BUT I never really wear jeans out which is the only time I would end up having the need to sleep fully clothed

What is something you just don’t understand?
why I am an irresponsible homeowner and forgot to schedule the begining of the summer maintenance thinking it would be fine all summer... IT"S SO HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not kidding, the thermostat says 90 degrees

Who was the last person you were in a car with?
amanda

Is there someone on your mind that shouldn't be?
eh.not really

Do you care what others think about you?
a little

Do you think you'll be married in 10 years?
i'll be 36 in ten years, i kinda doubt it actually. I have a feeling I'm meant to be that weird single cooky aunt that lives the dream out west, and brings weird presents from trips to New Mexico and whatnot

Did you have a good day?
eh. it was really any other day. I little this, some that. then the A/C went out sometime while I was out and about, and came home to a hot house


What do you look forward to in the next 3 months?
leaving for my adventure. getting a job in Jackson, having fun until I leave the cruise that I'm going on in a week. there's a fancy cocktail party at the country club for my grandparent's 60 aniversary

How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?
0. and 0 of the same sex. I don't fully trust anyone but myself...


When was the last time you got flowers?
when Brandon and I broke up and he tried to fix it with roses. Silly boy.

Do you plan on moving out in the next year?
silly question, you guys know I'm leaving

Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
n/a: sports bra. i've ranted enough about why...

Do you like winter?
i sure hope so, I'm about to be in WINTER land

Do you regret anything?
just meeting you... haha! kidding. nope, we all learn from our mistakes

Honestly, what's on your mind right now?
do you really have to ask?

Do you think a lot of people think bad things about you?
I'm sure there are people who don't like me for their own silly reasons, but my friends love me and although we can be catty from time to time, we never think ill of the other person


Do you think you're approachable?
totally! I'm one of the friendliest people you'll ever meet

How late did you stay up last night?
don't know

Suppose you see your crush kissing another person?
eh, I'm leaving anyway. he was just eye candy and a flirt buddy. (secretly really upset)


if you could change anything about your apperance would you?
I need to get back on track on working out and eating right. but as Gillian so adequetly put it i'm at "summer camp" this year.

has anyone ever told you they loved you?
yes

You're really upset; who is the first guy you go to?
lately it's been my Daddy or my soon-to-be step brother. 'cause the men in my birmingham life don't really like to hear about "feelings" and "girl" stuff, I have to be tough around the boys. I can also go to Khoury if it's not him I'm upset with =)


Have you been to New York City?
nope- don't really HAVE to ever go there, it would be kinda cool to see some shows and go play ski ball on Coney Island or whatever, but the posh fashionista part of me is pretty dead.


Do you think you have made a difference in anyone's life?
I sure hope so

Has anyone ever tattooed your name on them?
nope. but Porter did brand me hahaha! not really, he just drew it for me. so I've got his art on my back forever and ever. its a good thing I still hold a dear place for him in my heart, you know as opposed to the alternative...



When is your next road trip?
sept 1 WV, KY, ILL, MS, KS, CO to WY. I'm going from the first state (alphabetically) to the last btw. that's kinda cool


Where is your pet(s) right now?
She is sprawled out on the tile floor. I might have to join her

What color are your eyes?
blue



Do you need to say anything to anyone?
just you: I LOVE YOU!



What were you doing at 7AM?
i was asleep



Who was the last person to make you cry?
someone who means a lot to me.

Whats bothering you right now?
oh nothing really... just the teeny little thing about my AIR CONDITIONING>>>

Ever seen somebody get shot?
gracious no! how horrible that must be for those who have! my thoughts go out to everyone in the universe that's had to witness such a tragedy. and of course those that were victims of such tragedies.

Where are you?
in my bed, sprawled out under the fan with ice packs on my belly and the computer on a bed tray so that the heat doesn't make my lap hotter... it's miserable!!! if anyone's up and they have a couch that I can sleep on. please let me know. I can leave Elu in the backyard and be there in no time... I just want to get some sleep. but it's so hard to when you can't breathe....

sorry, my bad didn't mean to get all pathetic you you, I'm totally fine! I'm just whiny


Do you fight with your grandparents often?
we're all too old for that. and don't see each other enough. I avoid topics of politics around them. I let my grandmother talk about hippie this and liberal that and "those damn democrats" and I don't say a word... I bite my tongue and smile. let her rant. refusing to give her ammo. however. the environment is one thing I will stand my ground on... just don't tell anyone I'm a democrat please...

Do you get butterflies every time you see the one you like?
it's most likely just indigestion


Do you get mad or discouraged when you're wrong?
I'm never wrong. so that's an invalid question


Do you currently have a hickey?
how do you let that happen? seriously, can you not feel someone SUCKING ON YOUR NECK and say "excuse me, what the hell are you doing to my neck, you are not a vampire and I'm not putting up with this, get the hell out..."
at least, that's what i would say

According to your ex, what are you?
I'm going to choose the happy answer, there is more than one ex and they all thing different things. let's go with the one who doesn't hate me:
he thinks I'm awesome, however he has a deranged notion that I once pointed a pistol at him and likes to sing about it on a semi regular basis, then call me out in the bar and tell everyone to ask me about the time I help a pistol at him. I laugh and remind everyone how I feel about guns.


Have you ever cried and didn't know why?
yes, I do have a uterus.

Do you like being in pictures?
only if the angle is right and I can look up and make my chin look smaller. no full body pics please, I will get back to you when I loose some weight and we'll talk about amending that


Would you rather watch football or baseball?
football. baseball does not appeal to me honestly

Choose a color you like:
GREEN!!!!

What's your ex doing?
not a clue. i don't really keep up with their day to day goings on. that's why they are EXes...

What are you thinking about right now?
is this ice pack going to leak on me if I fall asleep with it on me

What’s your middle name?
Ann

Could you date someone taller then you?
kinda have to. I'm not really that tall

How many people did you hit today?
you know how I feel about violence.


relationship status?
summer camp.

Are you happy with that?
sure am

Do you regret being with your ex?
I regret staying in it as long as I did (this being the not-so-happy ex) but he taught me a lot and we had some fun times, we just were not compatible to live together forever


Ever been heartbroken?
see above

Ever been in love?
sure